Just for you

  It was the month of December, the month where even the rays of sunlight give a pleasant pleasure. We and our classmates were on our I.V. (Industrial Visit) trip, and we were heading to Jaipur. Oh sorry! I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Surya, and I am a second-year computer science degree student. I got a seat near the side window. I put on my earphones, turned on my favourite song, and started looking at the outside environment through the window. Even the outside environment was grasping my eyes, and my favourite songs were keeping me busy and away from distraction. But my eyes were continuously gazing at her. Her name… Her name is Keerthika, and she is my classmate. She is sitting exactly not opposite to me; she got her seat two rows apart from me. Her seat number was 30 and mine was 47. But still, I see her beautiful face and her radiant smile. I don’t know what made me attracted to her, but whenever I see her, I get some sort of happiness inside me. Even when both of our eyes got into contact, my heart started beating faster. Oh no, her eyes were shifting towards me; I should shift my focus towards the window. Yay you must have guessed by now, my love for her is like a boy who is waiting for the star, which is millions of miles away from him. In simple terms, it is one-sided love. I started loving her, from the first year only. Till now, I didn’t tell anyone till now that I love Keerthi even to my friend Chandru. But I decided to propose her when we reached Jaipur. I'm not sure how I'm going to do it. But I am damn sure that I will propose her before leaving Jaipur.

    While this was happening, my friend Chandru got up from his place and came near to me. He asked me, "Hey Surya, what are you doing?" I replied, "Don’t you see that, listening to music and enjoying the environment outside." Chandru then replied with a boring face, "Surya, we were all on an I.V. trip." Then I removed my earphones and asked him, What do you want me to do now?" Surya then said, "We all can play some games and can enjoy the trip." After hearing that, I got an idea in my head. I said, "Ok fine, I will join, but call others also our friends, Salim's friends group, Keerthi's friends group, and call them also. The larger the number of participants, the greater the excitement will be." Chandru then said with a doubtful face, "But Surya, can’t we play with just six players. Salim's group will join us, but Keerthi's group is doubtful." I know he will say this, and I don’t need my idea to flop. I just replied to him, "Just ask them; if they say okay, it will be good. If not fine, we will continue with 6 players." Chandru then replied, "Ok, I will try," and after saying that, he first asked our two mutual friends about it. They gave him a signal, and after that, he approached Salim’s friend group, and they were also okay with it. After that, Chandru approached Keerthi’s friend group, and my hearts started pounding faster. I was praying inside that Keerthi should join with us. But as soon as I saw Chandru is talking with Trisha, I made in my mind that my idea was going to fail. Trisha is a no-girl. Whenever we ask her something like this, her all-time reply is no, and she will manipulate others also. And my guess was also right, by seeing Chandru's face expression. I can understand that Trisha might have said no, and Chandru also started returning to his place.

    I felt slightly sad there, but suddenly I heard Keerthi calling Chandru. I was confused; Chandru had also gone near her. I don’t know what was happening there. I was about to get up from my place to check out what was happening. At that time, Chandru turned around and gave a thumbs-up sign. I was shocked; I even asked Chandru whether she really said okay or what? when he came near. He replied, "Yes, she said." After hearing that, I felt like that peacock who was waiting for the first glimpse of the rain. I knew it sounded crazy, but not for a one-sided person like me. It is a heavenly pleasure. In the meantime, everyone arrived at our place, and we were about to start the game. We all sat in a circle formation, and Keerthi was sitting exactly opposite to me this time. After we found some place, I asked Chandru, "Hey Chandru, what game are we going to play?" Chandru then took a water bottle from his behind and kept it in front of us. He said, "We are going to play truth or dare." After hearing that, at first we all hesitated, but later we started playing that game.

  With every turn, the game was getting more exciting. Some chose truth, and others chose dare in the mindset of not revealing the dark secret. After a few turns, the bottle stopped moving towards me, and now it’s my turn to choose truth or dare. After seeing the bottle stopped towards me, Chandru replied, "So here we got our lucky boy now." I then said, "Yay, yay just ask your question now." I was very excited and had a little bit of fear inside me at the same time about what he could ask. Chandru then said, "Ok, reveal your love." After hearing that, I got confused and asked him, "I didn’t get it; what do you say?" Chandru then replied, "I asked you to reveal that person with whom you are in love." I was shocked, and I was feeling sweat below my feet. I was thinking, how could he know that I am in love? Or he might be simply asking? Everyone is watching me. What will I say? I should immediately tell a lie now. I know it is against the game rule, but what else can I do? I said, "Hey Chandru, what are you saying? I am not in love with anyone." Chandru then replied, "Don’t lie; simply say with whom are you in love?" I again said the same lie, "Whom will I say? There is no one to mention." Chandru made a weird face towards me and said, "Really?" and I replied, "Yes, of course there is no one." Suddenly, Keerthi interrupted both of us and said, "Hey Surya, simply reveal your love. Don’t worry about the revealing; we will all help you in the succession of your love." When she said this, I was thinking what her reaction would be if I said that girl was none other than you only. I simply said, "There is no one Keerthi." After this, everyone believed in my lie. 

  Chandru then said, "Ok, then accept the dare." I replied, "Why should I do the dare? I said the truth, so my turn was complete." Salim then said, "Chandru, Surya has a point, so let’s continue the game." After that, the game continued, and Chandru rotated the bottle again. This time the bottle stopped toward Keerthi. I can see by Keerthi’s facial reaction that she is quite excited. Her friend Gowri continued the game by asking her a question, Keerthi, how do you want your dream proposal to be?" After hearing that question, Keerthi's face became red, and she was very shy to answer this. She said, "Gauri, is this a question?" Gauri then replied to her, "Just reveal it, Keerthi; we were all very keen to hear it." Keerthi said, Fine, I will reveal." Keerthi was about to reveal her dream proposal, and I was very keen to hear it. Who knows? It might be useful for me. Keerthi then started saying her dream proposal, "See, actually I have many dream proposals, but I reveal that proposal, which is close to my heart as well as close to reality. It was morning time, and I was sitting on the park bench and reading my favourite book. While I was reading the book, I experienced a heavy blow of air in my face, and I got distracted. As soon as my eye shifted, I saw my dream boy walking towards me with one of his hands covered in his behind. I was thinking what he was covering, as soon as he came near, he didn’t propose me."

  Trisha then replied, "Then?" Keerthi then said, "Don’t interrupt me, Trisha; I will say. As soon as he came near, he took a seat beside me. He took some time for himself, and he propose me by handing me the bouquet of white roses that he had been hiding. I was shocked, and I asked him. What is this? He took a deep breath and started conveying how deeply he was in love with me. By seeing how deeply he loves me, I accept his proposal. This is my dream proposal." After hearing that, Gauri said, "Hmm, it is simply and also kind of a filmy type." Keerthi then replied, "I know, but I like this type of proposal only." After that, the game was continued, but in my mind, I started daydreaming. I started imagining myself as the same guy to whom Keerthi referred. I dreamed of the exact situation, and I proposed Keerthi with fear. But in that dream, she calmed me and accepted my proposal. With this constant thought, we reached Jaipur after 16 hours of travel.

    Our I.V. trip was 6 days long, and throughout the trip we visited various places in Jaipur like Ranthambore Fort, Jantar Mantar, the Albert Hall Museum, etc. With this, the first five days of our trip were over. During these 5 days, I tried to propose to Keerthi, but I couldn’t find the perfect opportunity. It was the last day of our I.V. trip. I didn’t want to waste any chance at all, so after our breakfast, I called her to the nearby park. I was waiting at the park with a white rose in my pants pocket. The temperature in Jaipur is moderate, but I am still feeling sweaty due to fear. I was cheered myself on and was ready to propose Keerthi; at that time I saw Keerthi was heading towards me. With every inch of her step, my heart was beating faster. I still try to act normal, but the sweat that I was releasing showing it how much terrified I am now. As soon as she came near, my hands started shivering, my heartbeat was beating faster, and my eyes were blinking simultaneously. She asked me, "Hey, Suriya, why did you call me here?" I replied, "I want to ask you something, that’s why." She then replied, "Hmm, even I want to ask you something." After hearing that, I was curious as what it could be. I asked her, Oh, is it, what is that?" She replied, "It is… no you first say." By seeing her facial expression, I can guess that she wants to say something to me curiously. So I let her, I said, "No, you say first." She took a deep breath and said, "See, Suriya, is it like that I am in love with Chandru."

  After hearing that, my heart stopped for a second. I felt like my legs were trembling. I asked her, "What did you say?" She replied, "Suriya, I am in love with Chandru. I don't know what made me attract him, but every time I see him, I can feel butterflies in my stomach. My legs started trembling as soon as he came near to me. I am in deep love with Chandru. I don’t know how to express this to him. So can you help me in this, please, Suriya." My heart was broken there only. I felt like I was falling from a great height. I can feel pain in my legs. I don’t know why I am feeling like this? Still, I replied to her with a fake smile, "Hmm, ok, I will help with this. Even I also called you here for this only." She then said, Really, how did you know?" and I said, "Just a simple guess." She then replied with an excited tone, "Thank you, thank you, Suriya. I don't know how to thank you for this." Then she got a call, and she attended the call. After the call ended, she said, "Suriya I got a call from Trisha. So I need to go now." I replied, Ok, bye." After that, she left that place. As soon as she left, the tears which I had been hiding started shedding from my eyes. My heart couldn’t able to cope up this but still what can I do. I could have revealed my love to her, but that could be the wrong thing. Instead, I decided to sacrifice my love just for you. Our stars might not align with each other, but that doesn’t mean the love I had for you was fake. The love that I had will be deeply buried within me. I buried it like that; it never sprouted again.